LIFE - Truth

Am I barking up the wrong tree?

Am I looking in the wrong direction?

Am I asking the wrong questions?

Even if all the the answers to the questions above are "No", am I '...doing it wrong'
?

This is a jumbled post. I've thought of a number of things this evening that I've wanted to say. Some of it because I've had a few drinks, and obviously in this state, thoughts flow like water. I've had disussions with friends this evening, and some of them can be sumarised as 'You're right. But your wrong.'. So which am I? I guess the answer is, I'm right for me. But what I seek is what's right for us all. A universal truth which applies to us all. Some people are kind. Some are not. Some people are happy. Some are not.

Some of the discussions this evening has centred around things that some people have done to others that have made them unhappy. Things that others have done which have impacted the relationships of those people so that they do not like each other. I don't understand this. And this lack of understanding makes me think that I don't have an understanding of the world that surrounds me, so that any conclusions that I come to are incomplete because I have led a sheltered life, and have an incomplete (Innacurate) picture of the world. And an incomplete picture that makes finding the universal truth impossible.

Across all of thing, regardless of what I do and do not know, there are people in this world for whom I owe much. Obviously my mother and father for whom if it was not for, A) I would not be here and B) for whom I would not be the person that I am. I love both my parents very much. They honestly can't know how strong my fealings for both of them are. Words fail. Only feelings can convey, and I hope they know this.

Following this closely is my wife. My beautiful kitten that I have been with for more of my life than I have been withough. When times are tough. When times are not easy, and the kids are crying, and the dog has peed on the floor again, and when dinner is late, and the laundry hasn't been done, and I'm late home from work, and I haven't done the things I was supposed to, I feel awful because I have failed you. I have failed to be there for you to do the things I need to do to make things easier for you. I love you more than I can say. If it wasn't for you my dear Margaret, my life wouldn't be in the wonderful place that is it. I honestly thank you more than I can say for giving me the wonderful things that I have in my life.

To my brothers and sisters. One of my largest regrets is that the best opportunity in my live, moving to New Zealand, has removed me from partaking in our lives as I would hope to have. What ever happens in our lives, I love you all and if there is anything you need, I am here for you, no questions asked.

To my beautiful daughters. You are both the most wonderful things in this world and the hardests things to deal with. You are such a contradiction. How is such a thing possible? My biggest concern in my life is, regardless of all else, is that I do not fail you. That I give you the platform in your lives that launches you on your ways to happiness and to make those around to happy.

To my friends who are also my family. Most of you I have known through paintball over the past decade. I look at you as brothers and sisters. We've shared many good times over the years, many of which have formed key moments which have had a dramatic impact on the person I have become. Not a day goes by in which I don't think "I remember when...".

So the point of this post? I'm lucky. I'm so lucky and suck muck more lucky than many. In my life I have nothing to complain about, as hard as things might be from time to time. To all those for whom I owe thanks, I thank you. these words fail me, but I feel a genuine thanks which radiates from my heart and which truely make me happy, which is the most important thing in the world.